


tom riddle gets adopted by one direction

by angxlicbxcky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dick Jokes, Gen, Gross, Horcruxes, M/M, Pedophilia, dick - Freeform, pedophile - Freeform, penis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 11:57:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20675012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angxlicbxcky/pseuds/angxlicbxcky
Summary: see the title i guess





	tom riddle gets adopted by one direction

There he was, Tom Riddle. All the girls loved him. He was a prefect, amazing student, Parseltongue, handsome boy, and much more. In short, he was very well liked and everyone around him seemed to gravitate naturally towards him.  
This was at Hogwarts, the best school of witchcraft and wizardry, however.  
In the real world, at his orphanage, nobody liked him. He was an outcast. He was a wizard that happened to be able to talk to snakes, so naturally the non-magical people, muggles, did not adjust very well to that. There was mainly jealousy and hatred towards him. His life in the muggle world was the exact opposite from his life at Hogwarts.   
“Tom, someone’s come to adopt you. Pick up your shit and pull yourself together,” The orphanage manager spit on him.   
“Yes, master,” he obeyed.   
He picked up his clothing items off the floor and managed to put all of his belongings into one tiny suitcase. He slipped on his checkered Vans and began out his bedroom door. To his surprise, outside his door stood…  
5 SECONDS OF SUMMER!!!  
Luke, Ashton, Calum, and Michael were looking at someone behind him. He turned his head to look, and there was another orphan walking up to them. OMG!!! They were adopting her not him. Tom felt a sudden sadness wash over him. Was he ever going to be adopted by a famous boy-band?  
Apparently, the answer was yes. As 5SOS left through the doors, he saw One Direction standing right behind them. OMG!! He must be getting taken by them!  
The five men swaggered toward him. They introduced themselves one by one, starting with Liam.  
“I’m Liam Payne, and if you cause us trouble I will enforce pain.”  
“Oy I’m Harry Styles and honestly you need some new style-s.”  
“What’s up, I’m Niall Horan and don’t be surprised if I’m Niall Horny.”  
“Ello, I’m Zayn Malik and I’m hot.”  
“Im Louis Tomlinson and my last name is boring as fuck.”  
He was stunned at how charismatic they were. He could NEVER meet their standards, but he liked their haircuts, so he gladly went home with them all.  
Once he got home with the boys, they directed him to his new room. It had off-black paint, a queen-sized bed, and a desk by the window near his bed. As he walked around his new bedroom, his new dads stood in the doorway.  
“I love it. It’s an amazing place to reside in. Thank you very much, Niall, Liam, Louis, Harry, and Zayn,” The 15 year old boy hugged each one of them as he thanked them.   
“You’re welcome, Tom. It’s not much, but it’s a room nonetheless,” Liam whispered as they all turned on their heels in unison, walking out towards the kitchen/living room.  
At last, Tom was left alone in his room. He, of course, found this exciting. To have even more people to kill. To be able to create more horcruxes. What a wonderland. Except, there was of course the problem of simply being caught for murdering his guardians. That was out of the question.  
That night, they all went out for Mexican Food.   
That night, they also had intense explosive diarrhea.  
They’re white, so they can’t handle spice to any degree. Only salt. And bread.  
Regardless, while Tom was shitting out flames, he decided he’d hop in the shower once he finished so that he could obviously rid himself of the unholy squirts he had just endured.  
He stripped out of his clothes, his massive bear cock jumping out of his boxers.   
As his schlong was jumping, the doorknob twisted and one of his new fathers, Harry, stumbled in.   
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” Tom squealed like a little bitch, and stuffed his pencil back into his pants.  
“What the fuck? I locked the door!!”  
“I’M SORRY TOM I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE YOUR POCKET-SIZED PISSER!”  
“GET OUT THEN!”  
Harry needed no more instruction, as he turned sharply around and slammed the door behind him.  
Even if Harry Styles had just seen his willy, he was still doing to shower. He had diarrhea running down his leg, for Christ’s sake. 

This was going in his diary for sure.


End file.
